I'm a Troublemaker (or at least i was)

This week was my old friend Amy's birthday, she turned 38 just like me this year and throughout her whole life she was an honor student and an upstanding member of the community. Funny enough, I was the sole reason for the only detention she ever received in school.

As stated in previous posts, Amy and i had an off and on thing during our time at Snyder Middle School and i would do anything to impress her, so one time she came to me about someone giving her some trouble, some punk ass kid didn't know exactly who he was mouthing off to and i decided to take care of the situation, but in a way that only a 6th grade original gangsta could. You see i had a body guard named Maurice.


Not this, more like this:



Not in the Whitney Houston / Kevin Costner way, i had a bodyguard as in an overgrown man child African American kid named Maurice. He was a year older than us but was starting to look like Shaq already. Maurice and I were good friends and he would do anything i asked, so i had him go have a chat with the kid bothering Amy. Here i was only in 6th grade and i had already put out my first hit on someone, my Italian ancestors would have been proud.

So Maurice put the fear of god into this kid, and maybe roughed him up a bit, although he did leave his spleen and kidneys intact. The next thing we know the principal comes on the loudspeaker. (last names removed here) "Ron please come to the principals office, Maurice please come to the principals office, Amy please come to the principals office". The jig was up and we got ratted out, unfortunately Amy was dragged into it as well.

Maurice was the only one out of the three of us to get corporal punishment, but it was hilarious watching him get his ass paddled by the principal as he just laughed. Amy and I received detention, which was a win / win situation for me. I got to spend an extra hour out of a day with her, and i showed her that i would do anything to make her happy. Sure this did lead to another epic argument between us at the time, but i know she forgives me for what she realized were good intentions. We laugh about this story often, and I'm glad were still friends.